Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Is Hapiness Possible?

There's a few things about life that I would like to point out...

- Life may be good to you at times, but there are those times karma seems to bite like a bitch... Sleeping around, hurting people, only results in the same thing happening to you..

March 2010 I fell in love... Some may say that it isn't possible at my age not knowing what you want and what not.. But I know what I feel and what I feel is real.. Yet, there is always an ice breaker. The guy I love doesn't feel the same way.. As of a few weeks ago.. Been a while since we talked about it..

It all started when my best friend was telling me about this gorgeous boy she had met in art... He wouldn't say anything about being gay other than that he would admit to "having a little sugar in him." I have seen him through the halls before, and thought he was like.. Perfect!

After seeing him, saying hi, and adding him on Facebook saying I was Tya's friend it turns out.. Tya invited him to my house for a party I was having.. At a party I had back in march.. I was extremely drunk and stoned by the time he got there: him - sober and Mormon... We talked and Tya was trying to get us to talk. I was shy and nervous of course, so she sends us out to make a bond fire in the back.. My drunk ass is having issues lighting a fire, so he decides to shove me back into the chair and he began to kiss me.. It started as just a kiss then lead into his gum was in my mouth... We ran up to my room, and did our thing....... Came down, to me puking and making a complete fool of myself..

Two weeks went by of him constantly telling my best friend how he couldn't wait to see me, and us hanging out quite often.. Suddenly things stop, he stops talking to me and it's like I was nothing..

Months went on and on of him stealing my guys, me trying to steal his to get back.. But nothing..

Fighting occurred, and other drama...

The past month or 2 he has become my best friend.. Talked about it once since... But only because of another situation... He said he loves me as a best friend, but we will just have to see where it goes if that's at all possible...

Now I am living my life, in love with a wall basically.. Hopefully things work out for the best... At least that's what I am praying for..